Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, how I've missed you! But I despair. I've got no catchphrases for Season 4 of Prison Break. I mean, there's no prison (yo!). There's not even a Panamanian prison (yo!). I'm so off my game here with references to the "A-Team". And, yet, somehow, I know that when I see those familiar characters, when I hear that familiar music, when I see that totally ho...

We open with Pad Man in an office. He receives a note that says "10,000" and gets a call. Wyatt is on the other end. Pad Man doesn't want to chat with Wyatt, he just wants the brothers and the others dead.

The team arrives in LA and Don wants them to wear GPS ankle bracelets. Lincoln protests that it clashes with his shirt and refuses. Don pulls the whole "I'm in charge" ro...

I woke up at 6:30 a.m. this morning to watch the show and write the recap being heading off to work. But my brain absolutely does not function at 6:30 a.m. after 5 hours of sleep due to attending a movie premiere the night before. Normally I'd bitch and whine. But seeing Colin Firth last night, in all his British glory, was totally worth it. By the way, I highly recommend both movies I was ...

Previously on Prison Break we were introduced to Scylla and the ugliest hats in the world continued their quest to take over the show. Fortunately, they only put Mahone under their evil spell. Unfortunately, I've seen promo photos from later episodes and I know that the evil hats spread their ugliness to other members of the cast.

Michael finds Sara sitting by the water. He ...

I have a confession to make. Last night, for the third time in my 28 years, I saw New Kids on the Block in concert. On the one hand, there's my embarrassment. I mean, next year I'm going to be 30. What in the hell was I doing trying to relive my early teenage years? On the other hand, none of that matters because it was totally f**cking AWESOME. My favorite part was Jordan Kni...

I just discovered some strange time-shifting channel that airs Prison Break a full two hours before Fox does. Time-shifting truly is one of man's greatest inventions.

We open with Sara riding up an elevator. And, hello, cleavage! She's dressed in some jeans and this weird printed tank top. Michael, on the other hand, is wearing the Evil Hat that Wants to Take Over the Show (o...

It's Vegas, baby! Let's not even bother with small talk. Let's just jump right into this thing.....

We open with T-Bag tied to a chair. Ah....this does bring back memories of Season 2. Gretchen demands information from T-Bag as she holds the bird book. He summarizes the story of how he came to have the book and tells her that he assumed Whistler's fake identities, which are ...

Rumor has it that there's going to be a chick fight between Sara and Gretchen in tonight's episode. Don't fail me, writers. I want to see some hair pulling like last week's episode of Gossip Girl!

We open in Chicago, 2001. Lincoln and some guy I think I remember from season 1 are sitting in a car with a shotgun, waiting for someone. A man leaves a house with a briefcase ...

"NO!" he gasped.

"Do you want me to tell you who it is? Because I know."

"Just tell me that it's not Sucre" he begged, "I couldn't stand it if Sucre d...

Crap. Cousin Joe found out about this website and the fact that I post information on it. See, I never told him about it so that I could make snide little comments without him knowing. That plan has now been shot to hell.

The internet has been burning up with disgust about the kiss between Pad Man and Gretchen. I think my friend Geoff put it best when he said "I think I'd rat...

And so here we are, a week closer to the winter finale of Prison Break (which is to take place on December 22nd). Am I the only one crying on the inside?

We open in the tunnels under GATE, where the boys are drilling and gearing up for a Mission Impossible / Ocean's 11 type break in. Mahone and Sucre are being very, very quiet (they're hunting rabbits...) and they manage to get...

Are you guys paying attention? Because we're not supposed to miss the last five minutes of this episode, according to the promo. I just want to make sure you guys are with me to the end. Here we go...

We open where we left off...Michael is staring intently at Scylla as Pad Man makes his way down to the room with some goons. Meanwhile, Gretchen and T-Bag are in his office...

We open this week on Michael, looking extremely disappointed, and muttering "Self...Self", because you can't say "F*ck...F*CK!" on television. We then flash to Self dragging away Trishanne's dead body. Back at HQ, Mahone insists that Self can do whatever he wants because he works for the government. Oh, I see. The current U.S. government administration obviously learned this lesson wel...

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...except on Prison Break where, if I can remember the crazy, ridiculous timeline, it's only about late summer or early fall.

Previously on Prison Break...there were about 15 double-crosses and Self went evil (without any foreshadowing whatsoever). Michael also used the Scofield whisper to tell Self to "come and get it".

So I caught the trailer for the new Terminator: Salvation movie this weekend and it looks pretty kick-ass, but is it weird that I have never seen the original Terminator movies? I own no less than 400 movies, but those aren't among them. This seems weird to me. Anyways, I only really mention this because, is it just me, or is Christian Bale utilizing the Scofield Whisper in all o...

I had the pleasure of watching the Prison Break fall finale at Cousin Joe's house last night where, between the two of us, we managed to call every possible surprise or twist in the episode. Allow me to summarize...

We open with Linc, Gretchen, T-Bag and Self arriving in Miami. Linc calls Sara, who's in a gorgeous hotel room back in LA, to tell her where he is. Their conversat...

Hi! Oh my God, it's been forever, hasn't it? How have you guys been? What have you been up to? Since my last recap about 64 years ago (it's felt like that long since a new episode of Prison Break) I've gone to another New Kids On the Block concert (don't judge me - you don't understand my love for them), my grandfather celebrated his 80th birthday (Happy Birthday, Nonno!) and Cousin Jo...

So my earlier insistence that tonight's recap of Prison Break was going to be late because I wanted to hang onto my social life turned out to be empty talk. Instead of seeing my friends, I was in an emergency room getting x-rays for my knee. It seems if you take a pretty serious fall on Front Street in Toronto on Monday, it could end up as an inflamed (but fortunately not fractured) knee...

This recap is late. Sorry! But unlike last Friday night, which I spent in the emergency room getting x-rays for my knee, tonight I spent out with my friends at a movie. Which was actually extremely uncomfortable because my bloody knee still hurts like crazy. Anyways, I went to see the new Wolverine movie. Meh. It was ok. I've never been a huge fan of any of the X-Men movies. I'm mo...

Sooo.....I just came home from watching the new Star Trek movie and I can definitively say this: wicked awesome! Unlike the new Wolverine movie, which sucked, Star Trek was excellent. J.J. Abrams is a great director. I want to work for him. You hear that, J.J.? Email me with a job offer.

We open where we left off, Linc and Michael have been framed for murder. Cops are ...

So here I am back from a family weekend gathering. I thought I was going to go insane without the internet. I couldn't even get a signal on my freaking BlackBerry. If I'm away from the internet for more than 3 days I start going crazy. I wonder what's going on out in the world. If Canada was bombed I probably wouldn't even know (provided that cottage country was far enough away from t...

Welcome to part 2 of this recap. This is the second-last recap I'll ever write for Prison Break (the final recap being for two-hour "Final Break" movie) and I'm starting to get a little teary. I have a confession to make. I didn't watch Prison Break in season 1. I didn't even watch it in season 2, at least not until close to the end. I remember thinking "isn't that the show with that ...

Ah.....recapping Prison Break on a Monday night. Now THIS is more like it. As I'm sure you all know, this is the final Prison Break episode and my final recap. It's very sad. I have so many people to thank for everything (gosh, I sound like I just won an Oscar, don't I?). Let me begin by thanking the man who actually brought all of us together: Alex. Alex created this site a few year...