It's Panamanian prison, yo! Welcome back, boys and girls, to the third season of Prison Break. When we last left our beloved stars Michael was trying out his Scofield Stare on the unsuspecting population of Sona, Linc was a free man and wearing a shirt that showed off his pecs, Sara had vanished, Sucre was bleeding his love for Maricruz all over a dusty street, Bellick got the ass-kicking he ...

So I've been wondering some pretty random things since the last episode. First, I wonder if any of the actors or crew ever read fan sites like ours and read my recaps. Then I realized that sometimes I wasn't so nice in my recaps. Then I wondered if maybe some of the little jabs I've taken at Scofield are the reason why Wentworth Miller hasn't shown up at my door and declared his undying love...

So, an update: Wentworth Miller did NOT show up at my apartment and declare his undying love for me, despite the fact that I heaped praise upon the characters and cast of Prison Break in last week's recap. Well guess what, Wentworth? Two can play at that game. I'd like to introduce you to this week's recap: "Call Waiting: The one where Clarissa heaps sarcasm and snarkiness on the characters ...

After Nick Santora dressed down the rude fan on PBreak Fans board, I've felt kind of bad for all my comments. So, an open letter to everyone associated with Prison Break: you know I love you guys, right? You could kill Sara and I'll still love you. You could move the entire show to the surface of Mars and have every actor speaking Swahili and have absolutely nothing make sense, and I would...

I have had a fantastic day, people. I did my first substantial court appearance today and got everything we were requesting on behalf of our client. Plus, I got to enjoy my favorite drink at Starbucks: a green tea lemonade (in case any of you want to bring me another one). Plus, my sister's in town and we're actually getting along. I know...shocking. So you know what a happy Clarissa means...

Nick Santora has repeatedly sworn that tonight's episode is the "best ever". I take you at your word, Mr. Santora. If I'm not sufficiently satisfied by tonight's show, we're going to have major problems. And when I say "we", I mean "you".

By the way, I'm already exhausted from the prospect of doing a two-hour recap, so bear with me. Lechero is surveying his kingdom and stops...

The blood-thirsty men of Sona are cheering for a fight. Michael insists to Lechero that Whistler is not his friend and Lechero sends the two boys off to make out their wills. He tells them to return for the fight in 15 minutes.

Back at the hotel, Sucre is sending money to Maricruz. Linc comes back and hands Sucre some money and tells him to scram. Sofia goes off to get gas wh...

So how was my day? Well, it was pretty darn good, thanks for asking. Today I got official confirmation of a new job. As of November 30th I will cease to be a lawyer, and it's not a moment too soon. For all of you crazy students out there who dream of becoming a lawyer, the only thing I can say is....run! Run now! Save yourselves! What's that? You don't care about my new job? You just w...

Welcome back, everyone. It's been a while since we last spoke. So what have you all been up to for the past two months or so? I started a new job, celebrated Christmas, did a little shopping, and went to LA. Unfortunately, while in LA, I did not accidentally meet up with Wentworth in a Starbucks or on the street and, therefore, was unable to dazzle him with my intelligence, wit, charm and i...

Only 4 more episodes to go, folks, before Prison Break runs out of new material. Cousin Joe cried when I told him that. Ok, he didn't really cry, because, frankly, Cousin Joe's pretty manly and works out and stuff, but I definitely saw a little tear in his eye that signaled that he was slightly saddened by the prospect that PB might go off the air soon.

On a tangent, you guys...

Hey guys, I'm sick tonight with the flu or scurvy or something, so if I'm not amusing during the recap, please forgive me. Of course, some of you may not find me amusing in general. If that's the case, then a pox on your houses!

Michael opens the show in a very harried and demanding matter. God, that's hot. Instead of trying to figure out ways to improve the situation, the re...

Today it was -30 degrees Celsius in Toronto. I think I have frostbite and hypothermia. You know what I heard the best cure for hypothermia is? Getting into a sleeping bag with a naked Wentworth Miller. No, no, that's not me being a perv. That's a scientific fact, people! The science part makes it true and ensures that Mr. Miller does not have grounds for a restraining order against me.
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Well, kids, this is my last recap for Season 3 of Prison Break. I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who's taken the time to write to me throughout the season, saying they've enjoyed reading these recaps. I've talked to people around the world, from the US to Malawi to Australia. And a big thank you to Brittany, who writes to me every week to comment on the episode, and always says I'...